Friday, July 15th, 2005
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1:49 am - hi again
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hello... yes it's been a long time... just thought i'd show people i'm alive... and i need to just say some stuff... and yes it's going to be bitching and/or something that may seem like i just want a pity party... but i just need to get it off my chest before i just collapse... so, where do i begin... possibly have pink-eye (though it seems to be clearing up, so w/e)... went with a bunch of people that got drunk at the oktoberfest and at burgers & beer... got to listen to all kinds of shit from their high school days... bars are dumb, it's not like i wanted to get plastered, i just wanted something to drink... /sigh... 11 months then it won't matter... o and my grandma is dying of cancer... this is going to be like the absolute hardest thing i'll ever have to deal with... and everyone that i want to talk to is too busy or some other bullshit... i just want like a shoulder to cry on for a lil bit... just to get some of the edge off... the docs are saying that it spread so much and so fast that they can't operate so it's just going to be an assload of chemo/radiation... and the other doc was like "o ya, i can treat it... they were doing such-and-such thing in new york... we can do it here... blahblahblah i'm making shit up as i go along to keep u here so i can get ur money"... from what i heard from mom/grandma this doc said that he could get something from new york and it'll be better than going to university hospital... well my mom emailed the docs in new york, and they were like "um, no we haven't ever tried that before"... so thx to that other doc for fucking us over... she seems to be taking it not so bad, but u can really tell it's effecting my grandpa... he's back to smoking and he's always trying to make sure she isn't doing too much or just about anything that involves moving... anyways... if u have read this far, i've been doing fair... been flying a bunch... maybe half done with this class... thinking of not going back to BG cause they fucked me real good this past year... lakeland for a year and working... then we'll see from there... wow, this is the most i've ever typed on this thing... heh... guess that's it... kinda nice to get some shit off my chest, but it's not like talking to an actual person... anyways... ttyl
current mood: depressed
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Thursday, April 21st, 2005
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10:13 pm
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well my roommate isn't going to be here friday and won't be back till sometime saturday afternoon/night... anyone that wants to come out gimmie a call or hit me on AIM... kinda bored... hoping someone might come out... i know its kinda short notice but i was just told =\... so ya... nothing happening here.. so bye
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, March 26th, 2005
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10:18 am - hi
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hi... i'm alive... i think... not much has happened... well last week some stuff did... my grandpa (on my dad's side) passed away... didn't really get to me at first... but as we were leaving mass i just kinda lost it... i don't know... it was at the point where they pulled that sheet off the casket and put the flag on it (he was in the army in korea)... and prolly when one of his friends went up there and gave the speech about how he lived a good life and stuff... but after that it kinda got my thinking... he was only the first in my family... who's next and it know it's just going to get worse and worse... i don't even wanna think about it when my grandpa (on my mom's side) passes away... but i have been... so the beginning of this week i've separated myself from everything/one... sat in the union... even tho it was alone having people around me took some of the sting away... then tuesday morning at like 8am my mom calls to yell at me for not answering during the weekend... and then i started thinking of the rest of the family going... and i told her about how it kinda scares me know who all might go at any time... and she just didn't really care... but w/e... at least i have good friends to talk to... other than that nothing in the least going on... little sister (kim) coming out here for sibling weekend... they got the list of stuff that's going on and she was all "oooo i wanna do this and this and this and this" and i'm just thinking 'o man... i gotta get up before my normal time?!?! ur crazy' =p... well back to sitting around doing nothing like usual... cya
current mood: bored current music: Seether with Amy Lee - Broken
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
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5:31 am - hi
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omgahz i'm posting... ya... like u care... so it's 5:30am and i think i'm becoming like a partial insomniac... like i can't sleep but at like 8am i get like narcolepsy and i wanna pass out... yes i'm wierd... thanks... 19 days till spring break... not having fun in college anymore... i wanna find everyone that said it was fun and punch them in the face... thinking of taking next year off... no idea yet... have to talk to the people here at school to see if they'd fuck up my credits or what... and i have to talk it over with my mom... if i do stay home i'll prolly just work like mad... figure like a year of work at $8/hour would be like $16k before tax... hopefully i can find better tho... kinda wanna make it up to my mom for totally fucking us over last summer and not even looking for a job... not much else happening... supposed to wake up in like 5hours... prolly not gonna happen... supposed to fly in 6 hours... kinda hoping we don't... it's been wierd recently... i don't wanna fly... but when i get in the plane i love it... eh, once again i'm weird...prolly do classes at lakeland if i stay home... idk, college just doesn't seem like fun... maybe cause i'm a big loser and don't do anything... but eh, don't really wanna get shot or raped (yes, both were to happen here, guy had a hit list, and some other guy got raped)... past weekend was nice, no roommate, but got kinda lonely... wish someone would visit me when he leaves... ok, question for anyone that reads this... if u were head of an airline would u rather hire someone with over 100,000 flight hours and knows the workings of a plane inside and out, or the guy with maybe 10,000 hours with a college degree and he's just learning the aircraft? question was bugging me like mad... and please explain why... i just don't get it... why would u wanna guy that has no idea what's going on up there but he could tell you how to solve some complicated calculus problem... rather want the experience... but w/e... think i'm gonna go lay down now... lay there for like a hour till i pass out and have to wake up in 3... /sigh, oh well... bye
current mood: blah
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, January 11th, 2005
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2:13 pm
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Friday, November 12th, 2004
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2:32 am - 27 outta 88 things... like 30%... does that make me a loser?
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The Things I've Done The Xes mean I've done them.
(x) I have been drunk () I have beed stoned () I have driven while intoxicated (x) I have kissed a member of the opposite sex () I have kissed a member of the same sex () I crashed a friend's car () I have been to Japan (x) I rode in a taxi (x) I have been in love (x) I've had sex () I've had sex in public (x) I've shoplifted () I have been fired () I have cut myself on purpose () I have been in a fist fight () I've had a 3-some (x) I've snuck out of my parent's house () I have been tied up () I have been caught masturbating () I have been arrested () I've made out with a stranger () I've played Beer Pong (no, but wru flippy cup!) () I've walked around NYC completely blazed (x) I've stolen something from my job () I've celebrated New Year's in Time Square () I've gone on a blind date () I've had a crush on a teacher () I've celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans () I have been to Europe (x) I've been sick on a major holiday () I've worn a hoodie to hide my dialated pupils from my parents () I've seen/heard a ghost or other supernatural entity (x) I've skipped school () I've slept with a co-worker () I have thrown up in a bar () I have purposely set myself on fire (x) I have eaten sushi () I have been snowboarding (x) I have been happy with myself (x) I have met a movie star () I had sex in a pool (x) I've punched myself in the face (x) I went to a prom () I've bungee jumped () I have been to a pop concert () I've witnessed the miracle of birth () I have dated someone for over a year () I've puked because of stress (x) I've gone a whole day without food (i don't wanna talk about it though) () I sold naked pictures of myself () I've gone to class stoned () I've broken a promise to someone I really love () I've tried to punch a hole through a solid wall and busted my knuckle open instead () I've cheated to get accepted into college () I've cheated to help someone else get accepted into college () I've cheated on a national standardized test (x) I have been in a car accident (x) I have slept in the nude () I've eaten cheesecake () I've been to a rave () I've been skinny dipping () I've had jury duty () I've hated someone without knowing them () I have been to Maine (x) I've vandalized government property (money is considered gov't property if u didn't know) () I've done spray-paint graffiti (x) I've shot a real gun (x) I've ran around with my trousers around my ankles (once again, don't wanna talk about it) (x) I've had sex with someone within a week of meeting them () I've done ecstasy () I've gotten my ass kicked (x) I've had to pass for sober in the presence of my parents () I've been caught smoking (x) I've milked a cow () I've hocked a loogie at someone (x) I've got in a verbal fight with a teacher () I've cheated on someone () I've blatantly and unabashedly stared at an extremely ugly person () Lied one time in this survey () Lied more than once in this survey () Threw a party at a friends house when they were gone (no, but sounds like a good idea) () Partied every weekend for the last month () Sniffed markers to get high () I've done hallucinogenic drugs (x) Slept for more than 15 hours at a time (x) Petted a live tiger () kissed someone in the snow () Found a four leaf clover
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Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
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8:05 pm - HELLO!!!
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well today was pimp... got my money settled for college, waiting for my mom to tell me that i have my money for flying... week is turning out good, plus roommate is going home this weekend, so $$... but i'll prolly get really lonely, but whatever... waiting on fire drill atm... i'm gonna go cause nothing else of interested happened lately... byebye
current mood: bouncy current music: Static X - So
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
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12:39 pm - =(
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hello, i'm not dead unlike what people my think... so i've got some good news and bad news... good news is that i'm 1 flight away from getting my license... bad news is that i'm short like $100... so yay... think i might call my dad about it... cause i know my mom will go crazy about how she is already paying enough of my college... whatever... i have an idea, send me money so that way i won't eat your first born child! not like you people care... whatever.. bye...
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
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11:53 am
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Tuesday, May 11th, 2004
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1:07 pm - btw, i'm home
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Saturday, May 1st, 2004
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10:26 am - hi
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greetings from ONU... this place is in the middle of nowhere... 2nd time i've been down here though... was a tiny lan party last night... me and john in one room and everyone else was in their own rooms... couldn't bring they're comps in with us... loser... w/e... 2 finals wednesday... and hopefully i can finish flying by the end of this week... if i don't i'm going to be like totally fucked and going to be out a place to stay... so i have no idea what i'm going to have to do... nothing else going on in my boring life... heh... i'm out now... cya later if ur lucky
current mood: tired current music: Mudvayne - Not Falling
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, April 25th, 2004
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4:47 pm
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Thursday, April 8th, 2004
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1:28 pm
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1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4: "This airplane is cerificated in the utility category and is designed for" - the cessna 152 info manual 2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?: my dresser 3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?: part of Minority Report 4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 1:15 5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 1:20 6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: people outside my door opening their's... my roommate playing his keyboard... 3 fans going 7: When did you last step outside? what were you doing?: about a hour ago... went for lunch then to schedule the service project for ROTC 8: before you came to this website, what did you look at?: my BG email 9: what are you wearing?: shoes, socks, jeans, boxers, indians t-shirt (need to do laundry like really bad) 10: Did you dream last night?: i think so... 11: George Bush: better than what everyone thinks he is... i don't think many people can give me 10 reasons why not to re-elect him... i don't think kerry would be much help if he won though... 12: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: Samantha, or some name that can be shortened... just cause it looks like fun to call people by their full names when u yell at them (like what happens to me :-\) 13: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: Robert (prolly not, just putting it in here as a joke if u get it...)
current mood: accomplished current music: Iced Earth - The Hunter
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(comment on this)
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Friday, April 2nd, 2004
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7:04 pm - ...
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i'm not on AIM... if ur looking for me, u'll have to call me... but no one will... whatever...
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
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11:35 pm - hey look!
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Tuesday, March 16th, 2004
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11:16 am - um.. k
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Put your mp3 player/kazaa/musicmatch/etc on random and post the first twenty songs that play no matter how embarrassing they are...
1. Disturbed - Remember 2. Sum 41 - Summer 3. Linkin Park - Enth E nd 4. Dream Evil - The End 5. Korn - Lost 6. Metallica - Fight Fire With Fire 7. Sum 41 - In Too Deep 8. Iron Maiden - The Edge of Darkness 9. Smashing Pumpkins - Bullet With Butterfly Wings 10. Nirvana - Territorial Pissings 11. Rage Against the Machine - Maria 12. Tool - Hooker With a Penis 13. Static-X - Destroy All 14. Linkin Park - Points of Authority 15. Green Day - Basketcase 16. Disturbed - Intoxication 17. Green Day - Macys Day Parade 18. Static-X - This Is Not 19. Linkin Park - Don't Stay 20. Static-X - Push It
current mood: just woke up feeling... current music: Static X - Push it
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, February 19th, 2004
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3:28 pm
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___10 bands you've been listening a lot to lately: x. Audioslave x. Static-x x. Evanescence x. Linkin Park x. Iron Maiden x. Dream Evil x. Tool x. Bush x. Smashing Pumpkins x. Manowar ___09 things you look forward to: (and not neccessaily in this order) x. going home x. seeing my girl x. flying x. static-x coming back to town x. going to seattle over spring break x. relaxing over the weekend x. iron maiden in concert again x. possible iced earth concert in april x. dinner sounds like the goods too ___08 things you like to wear: x. jeans x. shirt x. sweater x. BG hoodie x. my maiden concert shirt x. socks x. comfy airwalk shoes x. comfy bozers ___07 things that annoy you: x. loud people x. stupid people x. people that think they're cool when they aren't x. when people talk down on themselves when they don't deserve it x. being beaten... and not in the good way x. people not listening to me x. ___06 things you say most days: x. oh man x. hi x. hello x. ok x. sure x. alright ___05 things you do everyday: x. sleep x. eat x. drink (water/pop/ice tea) x. talk x. miss people ___04 people you want to spend more time with: x. erin x. b x. josh x. all my other friends ___03 movies you could watch over and over again: x. fight club x. any johnny depp movie x. any jay and silent bob movie ___02 of your favorite songs at the moment: x. Evanescence - "my immortal" x. Incubus - "summer romance" ___01 person you could spend the rest of your life with: x. i'm sure you know... if not sux 2 b u.... heh
current mood: lonely current music: Evanescence - My Immortal
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
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2:34 pm - OMFG I'M ALIVE!
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yea, so i haven't updated in a long time... like over a month i think... oh weel, u can deal... i've done like no flying for a while and it's starting to bug me... oh well... so my v-day was great for once... i love my little bear she got me... in an air force uniform... it's so nice... and when u squeeze it, he says "i love you"... it's so cute... anyways... i'm just kinda chillin like usual... someone has to remind me to write my paper for ROTC... it's due next tuesday... it's easy, but i doubt i'll remember... i miss my girl... i hate being so far away... :-(...i need a car like hardcore... anyone want to donate me one? prolly not though...mmmm tasty lunch sub...still got ROTC to go to... i hope we're actually doing something fun... it sux being the "deputy flight commander" because when u ask people to do something they're all like "omg i told you i can't" or some stupid shit... but it's so nice to tell people what to do and have them somewhat listen to me... well i'm gonna finish my food and then wait till like 3:45 so i can leave for class... so i'm out... i love you babe! i miss you so much!
current mood: lonely current music: Savage Garden - I Want You
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
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12:17 pm
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Tuesday, January 27th, 2004
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7:00 pm
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